A Chancer Read online

  By the time Betty returned another LP was playing and he was sitting on the bed browsing through the sleevenotes on the various covers. I’m really sorry Tammas. She said, It’s that wee bugger William. I ended up having to put him to his bed. He’s a bloody pain so he is.

  Mm.

  You never get any peace in this house at all.

  Tammas nodded. He opened his cigarette packet and lighted one. Betty shook her head: You dont know how lucky you are. Sometimes I feel like running away. Just packing my bags and going away, going away from here altogether.

  She sat down beside him and he put his arm round her shoulders. And she continued speaking: I’ve got an Auntie lives in England. She was up in the summer for a visit and she was telling me there was plenty of jobs down there if I ever felt like trying it.

  Hh, whereabouts?

  Torquay.

  Is that no just seasonal work?

  No, all the year round.

  I never knew that, I thought it was just hotels.

  No.

  They were silent for a short while. Tammas leaned across to nip his cigarette into the ashtray, leaving the remainder on the side to be smoked later. He grinned: Did the tumbler smash right enough?

  It was a china cup! Mammy’ll kill him . . . She smiled, put her hand to her mouth and bit at the corner of her thumbnail. She smiled again and added. What like were you when you were a boy?

  Terrible.

  Honest?

  What! Terrible! No kidding ye Betty!

  I dont believe you.

  I was – ask my sister!

  Well I will!

  Good! Tammas grinned at her and inclined his head to kiss her on the lips.

  She moved away quite soon and she said, It was their fault anyhow because they shouldnt’ve let him take one of the china cups.

  He nodded.

  •••

  The runners were at the post for the 2.15 at Lingfield. He was standing gazing up at the names of the horses listed on the board. The latest betting show had just come through the speaker and the elderly boardman was still marking up the price changes. Then Donnie appeared in the doorway. He rushed straight over and grabbed Tammas by the elbow, kicking the holdall bag that stood between his feet. Come on ya bastard!

  Hang on a minute.

  No time man come on they’re nearly fucking away . . . Donnie bent and lifted the bag and pushed him on the other side of the shoulder. Tammas glared at him and strode off to the counter, scribbled out a bet and passed it beneath the grille to the cashier who returned him the receipt when he had paid across the money.

  Donnie was holding the door open. They raced along to the subway station, in time to see the others disappear round a corner beyond the ticket office.

  Down at the platform a subway was in and they clattered aboard just before the gates shut. The rest of the team was sitting along at the top end of the compartment. Following Donnie down Tammas sat next to him on the side away from the others. Donnie was pointing him out to the man in charge of the team and saying, This is the guy I was telling you about, plays in the midfield, or wherever.

  The man glanced along at him and so did some of the team members. He took out a cigarette and lighted it, he gazed at the floor while exhaling smoke.

  Forty minutes later they were at the park and having to rush into the dressing rooms to get changed. The opposing team passed them on their way out.

  When Donnie had his strip on he began fixing an elastic bandage round his left knee and he whispered, I’ll see him in a minute.

  Tammas nodded. He was sitting on the bench with the team stockings and the pants on but had yet to be thrown a jersey. He reached into his jerkin pocket for the cigarette packet, but left it there.

  Soon most of the team had gone. Donnie came back. The man in charge was walking towards the exit. Donnie muttered, You’ve to go sub man sorry.

  Aw fuck.

  Donnie was silent for a moment. It’s your own fault; he chose the team at the station.

  Tammas looked at him.

  He’s just after telling me . . . Donnie pointed to the exit. Christ sake Tammas if you hadnt been fucking about in the bookie’s you’d probably’ve got picked. You were too late.

  Too late! I was first there.

  Aye well you should’ve stayed there; that’s what I’m saying, he didnt know. How could he if he didnt fucking see you?

  You told me I would get a game Donnie.

  Well what can I do man? I cant do fuck all . . . He shook his head and turned away, then he indicated the large suitcase in the centre of the floor. Number 12’s in there, he said. And he grinned. Come on Tammas ya bastard, stick it on immediately. If he doesnt give you a game before half time I’ll strangle him!

  Fuck off.

  Donnie had reached into the bag and he threw Tammas the jersey, and he laughed. I always collapse at half time anyway, so you can come on in my place!

  About midway through the first 45 minutes Tammas zipped up his jerkin to as high as it went, hunching his shoulders. The wind was fierce. And that coupled with the sharp slope from sideline to sideline was causing the ball to travel on long distances whenever miskicked with any force. In company with the substitute from the other team Tammas was having to go chasing after it every few minutes. A couple of old men and wee boys were also there helping. On one occasion he had to run fast to stop the ball interfering with the game on the next pitch and when he ran back the teams were waiting for him and Donnie was there on the touchline ready to take the throw-in. Tammas gave him the ball and muttered, Fuck ye Donnie ya bastard.

  Donnie seemed not to have heard. He moved to take the throw-in. Tammas stuck his hands in his side jerkin pockets, he took out his cigarettes. The other substitute approached him. Hey jimmy, he said, you got a fag you could give us?

  Tammas nodded and gave him one, and offered him the matches.

  Ta . . . He indicated the man in charge of the other team: He doesnt like us smoking when we’re playing.

  Silly cunt, said Tammas.

  The other guy nodded, he was concentrating on getting a match to stay alight long enough to get the cigarette going. Eventually Tammas passed him his own and he got a light from it.

  It was nothing each at the interval. When the players came off the man handed round a pile of orange quarters. Tammas left them and strolled onto the park where the other substitute was kicking the ball about with the boys and the elderly men. He kept his hands in his jerkin pockets but trotted over to get the ball when it was passed to him. Then he saw Donnie waving to him and he trotted back. Donnie said: Has he no told you anything yet?

  Naw.

  Hh, he’s not told me anything either.

  Tammas nodded, then he grunted: He’s no even fucking spoke to me.

  Ach. Donnie shook his head. We could be doing with you too, that number 6 we’ve got’s a fucking dumpling.

  Tammas sniffed.

  I dont really know the guy well enough to eh . . . to say anything. What like is it watching?

  Ha ha. Tammas turned and spat onto the pitch.

  Donnie chuckled.

  The referee was returning to the centre circle; he paused on the way to uplift the ball.

  That fucking rain better stay off, muttered Tammas.

  The teams were now returning and the referee had placed the ball on the spot and was checking his watch. When Donnie had gone Tammas strolled down the touchline, passing the man in charge of the team, to stand some twenty yards away from him. But less than ten minutes later he walked back to him and said, Listen eh I want to go to the dressing room a minute. I’ve left something there and that and eh . . . Is the door locked or what?

  The man nodded, his attention on the game.

  After a few moments Tammas asked: Will I be allowed in okay?

  What? What’s that? The man frowned.

  Have you got the key? to the dressing room?

  To the dressing room! Naw, naw son you’ve got to see the caretaker.
>
  Aw aye. Tammas sniffed. He continued standing watching the game. The winger of the opposing team had the ball and was cutting in towards the corner of the 18 yard line; a player came to meet him and the ball eventually ran loose and was collected by the keeper who kicked it high, and the wind carried it and it bounced out for another throw-in from the touchline opposite. He turned away and blew his nose through his fingers, wiping his nostrils on his wrist; he headed off to the dressing room.

  •••

  Simpson’s Bar was crowded. Moving between the bodies he ordered a pint of heavy and carried it to a group seated at the far side. Donnie was standing next to the table, nearby the darts’ board and when he saw his approach he roared: Look who’s here! The famous vanishing substitute!

  Tammas grinned; he sat down on the fringe of the company.

  So he isnt skint after all! laughed Billy.

  Detained in a betting shop! laughed somebody else.

  Ah shite, said Tammas.

  A mixture of jeers and laughter greeted this. It was followed almost immediately by a loud roar from the darts game; a match had just ended. One of the guys at the board there shouted the initials of the next player. And while he was rising and crossing the floor the person in question pounded the air with his right fist.

  Tammas drank a mouthful of beer and asked, What’s happening?

  Rab replied, Happening? What d’you mean happening – nothing’s happening apart from a chinky, we’re all going for a chinky.

  I mean the arrangements man, Blackpool.

  Hey Donnie will you listen to the boy here! Stoating in at 9 o’clock and he’s wanting to know about arrangements! Arrangements by fuck!

  Donnie shouted: We’re going for a chinky!

  O Christ! Tammas shook his head and raised his beer glass.

  See what I mean? Rab laughed. You’re too late man – everybody’s steamboats.

  John leaned over the table: We’ve booked in bed and breakfast Tammas. Seven pound a night and we’re lucky to get it. Usually well booked up before the end of August according to the woman, the landlady. That’s how it’s so dear.

  Aye, said Rab, nudging Tammas, there’s a guy in John’s work could’ve got us a place at half the price.

  All I’m saying’s what he told me.

  Aye well you fucking tell him to give us the address man and then we’ll see.

  What is it yous’re paying? somebody asked.

  Seven notes.

  And that’s just for bed and breakfast, added John. On top of that we’ll have our dinner and tea to pay.

  Billy sniffed. That’s right enough. And then we’ve got snacks and bevy on top of that again.

  Aye and our fucking travelling expenses, called Donnie.

  True. Plus if we back a few losers and all that I mean who the fuck’s going to pay that!

  John shook his head. You cant get fucking talking in this place.

  It’s only because you talk so much shite John . . . muttered Rab.

  Aye do I!

  Aye, laughed Billy.

  Tammas had opened a new packet of cigarettes and he offered them about the company. He said to Rab: Saw the result in the paper man – great stuff. Is that yous through to the next round then?

  Quarter finals . . . Rab shrugged. And he added, What about the eh . . . you wanting to give us a few quid or what?

  A tenner, aye. Tammas withdrew the money and handed it to him. Is that okay?

  Well it’s up to you man but you’re still a wee bit behind. Rab folded the notes and put it into his hip pocket. He had a notebook in his inside jacket pocket and he flipped through the pages, entered in the details, and added, Even Billy stuck in a score!

  The others laughed.

  Billy called: What d’you mean ya bastard ye!

  Nothing, nothing . . . As Rab was returning the notebook into his pocket he said quietly to Tammas, You alright man?

  What . . . aye, Christ – I just want to have it all in front of me at the time and that, see how I’m fixed for everything man, see what’s what.

  Rab nodded.

  Some choice . . .

  What?

  Naw I mean the chinky and that, a Saturday night.

  Billy called: A couple of the boys are going up the dancing.

  Aye, said Donnie, if you’d been in earlier ya cunt we might’ve got something organised.

  Organised! We can fucking do it the now.

  Naw we cant, too late.

  Tammas shook his head. Think I’ll start going back to Shawfield.

  You kidding!

  Naw, this Saturday night routine man it’s fucking murder.

  Aye okay but the dogs! Jesus Christ! You must’ve a short memory man!

  Cause you go to the dogs doesnt mean you have to have a bet Donnie. Plenty of people go there just to watch the actual racing.

  Aw aye! Donnie laughed and reached for his beer.

  Rab said, Bad enough going to the dump but what like would it be without having a punt? Naw no me Tammas I’d rather have a few jars. And I mean imagine being over the night!

  I know, cried Donnie, it’s fucking pissing down out there. You wind up going skint man and having to hoof it back up the road cause you’ve no got the price of a fucking bus ticket!

  Tammas was grinning. Hey wait a minute Donnie they give you credit fares remember!

  No for Shawfield punters they dont! That’s fucking all stopped!

  Lying bastard.

  The others laughed. Rab said: It’ll no affect Tammas anyway. He’s just wanting to go and watch!

  Aye well it’s better than fucking sitting here all night!

  I agree, called John.

  Nobody’s forcing you, Rab answered. He sniffed and lifted his beer, sipped at it while gazing in the direction of the darts’ match.

  Donnie agreed. We’re fighting again, he muttered. Then he rose and added, I’m away for a pish out the road!

  There was a brief silence. John turned to Tammas: Ever thought about emigrating?

  Emigrating? Course.

  Whereabouts?

  Any fucking place!

  Naw it’s just . . . John shrugged. An auld guy in the work, he was saying you dont need to pay if you’re under 21 years of age.

  John! Billy was shaking his head at him: I keep telling you man that’s a load of fucking rubbish.

  How do you know?

  How do I know!

  For one thing, said Rab, Donnie would’ve told us, cause his da would’ve fucking found out right at the beginning.

  Aye but you’re talking about New Zealand.

  Australia or New Zealand ya cunt it doesnt matter.

  Doesnt matter! Australia or New Zealand!

  No for this it doesnt.

  What! You trying to say it’s the same thing? Australia or New Zealand?

  Course I’m no trying to fucking say it’s the same fucking thing! Rab gazed at the ceiling and cried: Aw Jesus!

  Well it’s two different countries man.

  Tammas nodded. He’s got a point but, the John fellow, Australia and New Zealand man – two different countries! I mean he’s right enough.

  Rab and Billy laughed. And Billy added. He still doesnt want to go – Donnie.

  Ah he’s off his head, I’d go in a minute.

  Rab swivelled on his seat, seeing Donnie coming from the gents, and he called: Hey Donnie, this cunt says you’re off your head!

  What have I done now?

  New Zealand!

  Fuck New Zealand! If they send over Ibrox Park I might consider it.

  Billy grinned and jerked his thumb at John: This yin’s trying to tell us New Zealand and Australia’s the same fucking country.

  It’s no, said Donnie.

  Bastards, grunted John, lifting his pint and swallowing a big mouthful. Then he said to Tammas, If you’re really interested man I’m thinking of sending away for the details . . .

  I thought you were wanting to go to London! laughed Billy.

&nb
sp; John looked at him.

  Sorry!

  Aye well no wonder – you cant get fucking talking in this place!

  I agree, said Donnie, give the boy a break for fuck sake.

  Hey . . . Tammas exhaled smoke and sat forwards, leaning an elbow on the edge of the table. A suggestion!

  Aw naw! cried Rab.

  Serious. Tammas sniffed before continuing: Mind that club place I was telling yous about? Where they played cards and that?

  Ho! Rab shook his head.

  Naw wait a minute . . .

  Ho! Rab was pushing his chair back the way and standing to his feet, and he placed one hand on Donnie’s shoulder and the other on Billy’s, and bending slightly he whispered loudly: Dont listen to one word the cunt says cause it’ll fucking cost you! He laughed and strode off in the direction of the gents.

  Is it that casino you’re talking about? asked John.

  Aye I mean Christ . . . Tammas shrugged: I was just wondering if anybody’d fancy giving it a go.

  John nodded.

  If I had a couple of quid . . . Billy shook his head.

  Actually man you dont need that much.

  You need more than I’ve got Tammas. Anyhow, they’re all fucking sharks in places like that!

  Ach away.

  You kidding!

  Naw for fuck sake Billy they’re just ordinary.

  Aw aye, ordinary!

  Ordinary, aye.

  Well that’s no what I’ve heard man – lucky to get walking out alive if you win a few bob!

  Dont be silly.

  I’m no fucking being silly.

  John nodded. I could believe it Tammas.

  Ah rubbish! I saw guys walking out when I was there.

  Donnie glanced at him. I didnt know you’d actually been inside the place.

  Aye. Tammas sniffed.

  Billy said, But did you see them walking out winning a lot of dough? And I’m talking about going down the stairs and right out the fucking close.

  Billy, the place isnt up a fucking close.

  You know what I mean.

  I dont, I dont know what you mean at all.

  Tch! Billy shook his head and he looked away.

  And after a moment’s silence John said, It’d be okay but if a few of us went the gether I mean, if we were team handed and that, we’d be okay.